Jul 22, 2012 | By: A Woman

Journey to Life - Day 100

Ann (4)Today, when  I realized that it's my 100 of Writing myself to Become LIFE, initially my reaction was - Shit, Day 100! Man! Cool! but then, in self honesty, when looking back at those last 100 days, I've realized the importance of continue writing every day. I mean, what I've accomplished in 100 days were just a small changes, nothing substantial that I can say - I changed. No..


Obviously, I'm not saying that from a point of judgement or diminishment, I'm saying it as this is what it is. in Self Honesty, there is a long way to walk, lots of suppressions  that I must allow myself to reveal to myself, face, let go and change, practically and physically.


When I asked myself the question: Why is it, that despite of me seeing the points that must be changed, I still allow myself to be preoccupied by myself in my mind? Why is it, that despite of me KNOWing what must be done, I am still not doing it? The answer is simplistic, I've approached the points from Knowing instead of self realization that is fully integrated as me - Within and as me and thus, what must be let go of is KNOWLEDGE and simply Living the practical Living expression of my realizations as Self change.


So, how to assist and support myself to integrate my realization as ME, as the Physical flesh that is me? The answer is also a simplistic one - it's to give myself the Permission to Decide! Give myself the permission to let go of all my desires as I can see very clearly that the desires are the stumbling blocks that I've not accepted and allowed myself to remove and are in essence the points that leads me to temptations, to remain in characters.


So.. What now, I remove the desires, the stumbling blocks are removed and.. How to live? When there are no longer systems that dictate each and every steps? How to live when there are no memories that comes up and tells me where to go, how to speak, how to express myself? That will be an interesting journey in itself as I see, realize and understand that from that moment onwards, it will be Me, as the physical flesh that will direct and move myself in every moment of every breath. Nothing is automated, it's self movement, here. So, I work with what is here, what is practically physically in my hands, I test the information for myself and see if it's aligned with the principle of that which is best for all, and I make the decisions accordingly. Because - what must be understood and realized is that I decide, in every single moment. I DECIDE.


And thus, I commit myself to identify my desires in its totality, to not leave anything behind that will keep an open door for any temptations; I commit myself to assist and support myself to dissect myself from all and every dimensions of my mind through a process of daily writing to be able to see the Desires that I've set forth for my fall and thus, to not change in fact.


Maya Rote said...

thank you for being committed, and for sharing your process

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