Reacting to Voice Tonality - Day 421
Inferiority and voice tonality - Day 422
Manipulation and voice tonality - Day 423
Throughout our lives, we have encountered people that expressed impatience towards us and especially within the realm of education. For children, the experience of another being impatient towards them in the context of learning, can lead to devastated outcome where the child for instance connect the experience of learning to impatience and therefore, would make a decision within themselves to stop asking questions when they do not understand something or to act out as if they do understand a point and this is to avoid the experience within themselves in moments where another is impatient with them.
Now, if one understand the importance of laying the bricks in the brick wall of understanding effectively within the formative years of a child's life, one would also understand how destructive an experience of impatience towards a child can be within how the child would define oneself within one's own mind according to how one experience oneself with others. Wherein, as the child learn and develop their confident, self esteem, trust etc. and external influence such as a slight impatient from the teach or the parents comes up, the child would imprint the moment and create unconscious idea about themselves and thus, decide for example, that they cannot tell anyone when they do not understand something.
Fascinating enough, the experience of someone being impatient towards us create great consequences within ourselves far more than we would like to admit and here, the voice tonality reaction plays a major rule.
For example, imaging that you are now an adult and you are starting a new job or a business and to be able to do your job/business, there are things you must understand because otherwise, you won't be able to perform your job effectively. So you ask a question because you really do not understand something and the person you are asking is becoming impatient with your question because let's say that in their mind, you should have already understand the point.
So they raise their voice and you perceive or interpret them as becoming 'bigger' within themselves and as such, you react and feel 'smaller' within yourself because suddenly, the past experience from your childhood kicked in, of when your teacher/parent where impatient towards you. Now, because you are reacting and you don't really know why you are reactive, you cannot even hear what the other is explaining to you because you are far gone in your mind, within the reaction and the experience of being stupid for instance.
Thus, a suggestion here, when/as we face these moments where another is impatience with us, the first thing we must do is to take a breath in, breath out, and if necessary, breath again, slow ourselves down. From there, we must realize that what ever the other is expressing within themselves has nothing to do with us per say but so long as we react, there is unresolved point within ourselves that we haven't sorted out yet and if we go back to the example above it would be for instance, how we held onto the idea that if we don't understand something we must not show/tell to anyone or even dare to ask questions due to the fear of experiencing a moment where another is impatient with us.
If we are the ones who become impatient towards others - here we have to slow ourselves down and investigate why is it that we allow ourselves to be impatience towards another, what is it that the other is showing us that we haven't dealt with for ourselves. It can be for example - the question that the other is asking us is not very clear even within ourselves and now that the other is asking us a question and we are uncertain as to how to direct it, we become impatient, not really towards the other person but towards ourselves from the perspective of: "how can I explain something to another that I am not fully understand myself".
For those of you who knew Bernard, you know what does it means to live the word 'patience' wherein one is able and willing to unconditionally explain something to another regardless of how many times one as to show the same thing again and again and again. Not once I've seen Bernard being impatient towards another; always embracing the other and looking for ways of saying the same things in different ways till the other see/understand a point.
More to come...
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