The relationship with Desires – Day 10

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe in the illusion of desires despite of the physical fact that NOT everyone equally are getting the chance to fulfil their Desires and yet, I’ve accepted and allowed myself to occupy my mind within the illusion of desire to suppress this physical reality so that I won’t have to face that which we have all accepted and allowed the world to manifest as.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to pick up the validation of Desires from a very young age when watching kid’s movies and TV series and thus, have never questioned how it is that this world is an abusing place where it is clearly shown that not all desires are being fulfilled but only those of a select few.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to desire a ‘Normal’ Life without considering what ‘Normal life’ actually mean and what is defined as Normal Life and thus, I’ve accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to a specific Life design that is defined as Normal even though there is no clear indication that Normal is based on principles that are best for all lives.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to question and investigate my desires and simply took them for granted because I believed it is healthy to have desires because what else will motivate me in life if not desires? What I haven’t seen/realized/understood that If one require self interest based desires to motivate and direct oneself, one is separating, compromising and limiting oneself through making the statement of – if I won’t be motivated, I won’t direct myself and in that, perpetuating the uselessness that we’ve become which allowed the world and ourselves to manifest in a way that do not support anything or anyone.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to give up the desires that are constantly and continuously occupying me within my mind because I’ve NOT taken the responsibility to exists as LIFE and instead, gave my power away, in separation of myself, to my mind.  

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the desires that I’m holding so precious in me, are not even my own but the desires of those who came before me whom of which I have copied and imprinted into myself and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to copy and imprint Desires into me because I’ve NOT taken the responsibility to really investigate the nature of the desires to see that Desires are in fact a destruction where beings are occupied in their mind to not face themselves and this world because if we have and self honestly change, we wouldn’t have accepted and allowed the consequence manifestation of this world as it is today where only a select few can fulfil their desire through Money while the rest are fighting for their survival – Day in and Day out.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to give up my own desires and instead walk in every breath for what is best for all because I’ve accepted and allowed the nature of me as self interest being that always consider self first and disregards everything and everyone else and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe and think that giving up my desires for what is best for all means that I’m compromise myself instead of realizing that, that which is being compromise is me as personality in separation of me and this world and this me as personality design isn’t real in the first place and thus, Not giving up the personality designs as desires are in fact an act of compromising myself as Life as equal to and one with all that is here.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the starting point of my desires as fears and thus, instead of facing my fears and sort myself out, I’ve distracted myself in my mind

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see what ‘Desire’ as the living expression of the word really IS -> Desire-This-I-R-E ->  this I am in unfulfilled relationship to energy.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to try and attempt to fulfil me through that which I’ve desired towards, in separation of me, without realizing that the desire can only exist of and as energy because it can last for so long until it discharge itself either through getting that which I’ve desired for and rebuild the energetic relationship in my mind towards a new desire, or through not getting what I desired for, let it go within regret and run as fast as possible towards a new desire, to balance and build up more energy, to sustain my Ego of and as personality that I’ve created as myself.

I commit myself to investigate the nature of each and single desire that I hold on to as well as investigating who I am within those desires and what am I missing in my participation of the desires where I’m being occupied in the mind to not face that which i have accepted and allowed myself to exists as.

I commit myself to stop my existence of energy and rebirth myself as LIFE as the physical.

I commit myself to investigate and educate myself with how the mind really works and functions so that I could for once and for all, see and realize what I have become, to be able to take responsibility for myself and my world, face, correct and change.

I Commit myself to apply and change myself into standing in every moment for what is best for all regardless the self interest desires that I’ve programmed myself to and thus, when and as I see myself accessing my mind into desire based thoughts, I stop, I breathe, I reallocate myself in this physical reality and change myself in that moment, to not accept and allow any form of self abuse through accepting and allowing myself to follow my mind as the preprogramed nature of self separation.