Gratefulness and Spirituality - Day 443

I found myself struggling with redefining the word 'Gratefulness' as a living expression of myself because at the moment, the word 'gratefulness' is conditioned to Rewards and Benefits on a Self-Interest Level, far more than I was willing to admit to myself.

 

The first step I applied was to remove the conditions as associations within the word 'Gratefulness' in terms of the ideas that I held onto the word 'Gratefulness' within myself and then I spoke the words: Unconditional Gratefulness. I asked myself - How can I practically live the words: 'Unconditional gratefulness' as a living expression of myself?

I started with: I'm Unconditional grateful for…

I'm Unconditional Grateful because…

However within the 'For' and the 'Because' I have already placed a condition which means that these statements are not valid.

So then, what is unconditional Gratefulness as a living expression of myself?

 

From here I went to "I'm grateful that I'm living, that I'm breathing" but speaking these words 'felt' empty inside myself. I remember speaking these words as a Spiritual person a while back, saying something like: "I'm Life, I'm breath" without understanding or conceptualizing what 'Life' in totality is.

 

As a spiritual person, I was "grateful" for the food that I have on my table, for the water that I was drinking, for the cloth that I was wearing and all of that 'gratefulness' came from the belief that I was a superior soul that had chosen to reincarnate into this world, I was grateful for the Karma I had - unlike the majority of the world that are facing their past lives' sins. This was always a friction and conflict that I had with Spirituality - I could go only so far with my spirituality process because even then, it felt empty because I couldn't let go of wondering - "but why do they have to suffer? What chance do they really have to change their past karma within their current living conditions? how can I really be grateful while  so many find themselves in a life of misery?"

 

So, I concluded that unconditional gratefulness within the current life conditions does not exists since the majority of this world cannot and will not be grateful as an absolute expression of themselves in any given moment because frankly, a life of survival is not a life that any of us would wish for ourselves so from that perspective, while the majority maybe on a limited dimension of 'gratefulness' are grateful for ending the day alive, us, the minority is grateful for having the life that we have in comparison to the lives the majority experience which in essence means, that we are grateful for having enough money or in other words, grateful for being born to the 'right' side of the equation.

 

Now, as a spiritual person, I could justify for myself that I did my part in my past lives and this is why I am rewarded now with the life that I've chosen for myself (which is again 'gratefulness' that is conditioned to the quality of the life that I have, as my rewards for my past lives, which  do not really have any recollection of) however, within the principle of Equality and Oneness, I've placed myself in the shoes of beings in this world and when standing in the shoes of each and every human/animal in this world, I'm really not grateful nor satisfied.

 

Thus, on the external level, Gratefulness as a living expression of ourselves can only manifest in a world system that is based on Equality where everyone are supported, taken cared for and  thus living a life that is worth living; until then, 'Gratefulness doesn't exists as a living expression that is applicable by all.

 

But on the individual level, can Gratefulness exists?

Will continue investigating this point...